Christian + Louise

BEFORE WE MET

Louise writes:

 I was visiting a close friend, catching up on life. I nervously wondered if I should ask her about the Christian speed dating event coming up at Christmas time. A lady from church had sent me the link. I momentarily gathered all my courage and shyly said, “Please don’t judge me; just read this and see what you think,” as I handed her my phone. She took the phone and began to read. A smile began to creep up her face as she read the blurb about the event. “What do you think?” I hesitantly asked.
She looked at me coyly and said, “You should definitely do it… if you feel brave enough. I know I wouldn’t, but I think this might be just right for you.” 
“But you remember I said I would never do speed dating again after attending a Christian speed dating night in 2021,” I quickly blurted out. (I had a lot of things happening in my life, and was so overwhelmed by the many people to meet and prospective outcomes that I wasn’t at my best.)

“You have changed so much in the last two years; you would be a totally different person if you did it again. Besides, there will be new men there. What have you got to lose?”

I thoughtfully replied, “Well… I guess you’re right,” and decided to book the ticket quickly, before I changed my mind.

I spent the next few weeks praying for wisdom and reassessing what were my priorities and what were preferences. “What is actually important to me in a man? What am I truly looking for?” 

1. A man who loves God, of course, but more than that, I desired someone who loves the scriptures and values them in everyday application. 
2. A man of integrity and character, displaying the fruit of the Spirit.
3. Someone who is kind, gentle, and an active listener. 
4. Someone who is willing to be active, like hiking and going to the gym. 
5. Musician was a preference. 
6. Tall, dark hair, and a beard would all be nice, but as preferences, not priorities. 
7. Keeping in mind the event was for ages 25-45, I wanted to be open, but realistic with myself about any age differences… I said to God, “I’m open to connecting anyone over 30, but I’d really like a 40-year-old man.”

Christian writes:

Sleep called. It was several minutes to midnight, and my brother had invited me to a Christian speed dating event on the eve of Christmas Eve. My first thought was, absolutely not! Speed dating was the stuff of nightmares. And 40 years in, I’d given up on love and ever becoming a husband and dad. So, I dismissed the idea and promptly fell asleep. The following night, a few minutes before midnight, I received another invite to the same event from an acquaintance I hadn’t spoken to in some years. This time I couldn’t ignore the signs. I felt like Gideon putting out the fleece. Would it be cheeky to ask for a third sign from God? Yes! I realised two signs was enough. The next day, after prayer and talking it through, still scared, I decided to bite the bullet, and signed up. My acquaintance encouraged me, “Awesome. Go find a wifey. Severe man drought in Adelaide, apparently.”

THE CHRISTIAN SPEED DATING EVENT

Louise writes:

Leaving early to drive across town, I wanted to be there early for two reasons. Firstly, I wanted to calm my nervous energy. Secondly, I knew many people would not know what was about to hit them, and I wanted to offer any relevant encouragement. I was the first one there, and ducked out the back for a few minutes. When I came back into the room, a few more people had arrived, so I began talking with them to get to know them a little more. The people I was talking with dispersed, so I looked around the room to see who I might speak with. I saw three good looking men standing by the door and I thought one was particularly a stand out. I went over to introduce myself to these men. I saw the purity and clarity in Christian’s eyes and face. I hoped we would have a connection, but knew I needed to wait until I was sure the feelings were mutual.

Christian writes:

The night arrived and my housemate and I headed down to Coast & Vines Church for the speed dating event. We entered the building and were met by a room filled with excited men and women. I recognised a mate of mine, so we started talking. I noticed a young lady from across the room and our eyes met. She had big, beautiful eyes. Instantly, I felt drawn to her. She approached our little group and introduced herself as Louise. I made a mental note to remember her name. 

Louise writes:

Beginning the dating rounds, I focused on each person I was with, knowing the five minutes goes by so quickly! As soon as I sat down, Christian blurted out, “I like purple, it’s my favourite colour.” I looked at his profile and noted that he was a 40-year-old man. (Was it a coincidence?)

I thought, “That is a way to compliment someone without being too forward. He’s a sweet man.”

I remember that most things we talked about, we had in common; important elements of our faith, learning Portuguese, both having brothers Sam and Josh, and a little nephew almost one. We briefly conversed through a few other topics in those five (and a bit) minutes. I continued the evening meeting each of the men there and felt hopeful and encouraged by the high quality of all the men there. Regardless of the outcomes of any matches, I was heartened to know there are such great men of faith in Adelaide.

Christian writes:

The night began. Each date was given five minutes to share and a minute to transition to the next date. The men remained in their seats, while the women rotated around the room. The first two women were pleasant enough, but I forgot about them as soon as Louise sat at my table. I blurted out, “I like your dress. Purple’s my favourite colour!” We hit it off, and then it was on to the next person. As the night continued, I eavesdropped on my mate sitting next to me, as he tried to match with Louise. I noted she didn’t have the same connection that she did with me. I continued to watch Louise circle around the room from date to date, hoping the others didn’t snatch her up.

Louise writes:

It was late when I left the event and arrived at my brother’s place with his family, where I was staying the night. My brother and his wife had waited up to hear whatever tales I had to share. I couldn’t stop smiling as I cautiously shared that I felt drawn to a few of the men, but in my mind, there was that one tall, good-looking man who stood out… he was hard to miss. My thoughts came out in a muddle over the next few hours. I’m sure it was after 1:00am before I was able to wind down. I spent a lot of the night praying for the men I had met and for wisdom to know what each next step would be.

Christian writes:

Back home, my housemate and I debriefed into the early hours of the morning. He mentioned that he thought he’d met his wife that night. And I hoped against hope he wasn’t talking about Louise, as I had my eyes on her. 

ANTICIPATION BUILDS

Christian writes:

The following day, we received our speed-dating matches. Thank God! One of my matches was Louise! I rang Mum for advice, to ask if it was appropriate to message this lady straight away. Mum said to leave it until after Christmas. So, I did.

Louise writes:

When the matches came through, I was quite excited to see I had matched with the tall, handsome man (and a few other men). By the end of Christmas Eve, a couple of the men had messaged me general Christmas wishes, but my main match, Christian, was silent. I had to wait. I hoped he hadn’t gotten cold feet, changed his mind and decided not to follow through. 
My heart skipped a beat. “Yay! He messaged me,” I thought excitedly. It was three days later, the day after Christmas. I wanted to take things slowly, so I suggested we meet up the following weekend. 

THE FIRST DATE

Louise writes:

When I arrived at the date, Christian’s whole face was smiling. He was very attentive to look out for me and he was hanging on every word I said. I could see he was very nervous; he ordered the same thing as me. I remember a few things… We shared about mutual childhood interests with Lego, bike riding, Sunday school memories, and Creation ministries. I discovered that we share the same quirky sense of humour, with obscure bible references. As hard as I tried to maintain my composure, Christian repeatedly caught me off guard with his quips and jokes. I kept giggling like a school girl. I was slightly embarrassed I couldn’t supress my laughter… on our first date, too! It was rare to share this sense of humour with anyone, I couldn’t hold back the laughs.

Christian told me how at eight years old he wanted to know the bible more, so he would take his Bible to school for Silent Reading. He read through the whole thing in six months, overcoming the dyslexia. That was when he secured a place in my heart! “Wow!” I thought, “He has cultivated a heart for God from a young age.” He listened intently while I was sharing. He was patient with my forgetfulness, as I was recovering from a health situation and the current medication added to the brain fog. The three and a half hours went by fast!

Christian writes:

Our first date was a few days later, and took place at a cafe in Brighton. The brunch lasted three and a half hours. Louise told me she has eight brothers. But I was so nervous, I interpreted it that she was one of eight. Throughout the date, Louise laughed and laughed. I was confused. Most people don’t find my unique sense of humour funny. I wanted to know. So, I asked, “Do you actually find me funny? Or are you just being polite?” She confirmed that I was definitely funny, and went on to share how she could relate. She had also faced some odd responses to our shared niche sense of humour.

Louise writes:

I couldn’t stop thinking about him through the week, and praying for God to make it clear to each of us what we needed to know about the other. I wanted to do this well. Honestly, it seemed like the following weekend wouldn’t come soon enough.

THE SECOND DATE

Louise writes:

I woke up on the morning of the second date, quite early in those days, and prayed about the day. I felt to cook some lunch “just in case” the brunch went well, and we wanted to share lunch together. I cooked and tidied the unit “just in case”. I was the nervous one going to the second date, because I wanted to see how the morning went to decide if I would invite this man to have lunch and continue talking. The date went well, and I nervously asked Christian if he wanted to come over to the unit and continue sharing over lunch. He seemed happy to come over and share more time together, talking and getting to know each other. It seems we spent seven hours talking about almost everything.

Christian writes:

Our second date lasted seven hours. It began at a cafe on Louise’s side of town. It was here that I finally understood she has not seven, but eleven siblings! I didn’t know anyone with that many brothers and sisters. We migrated to her unit for the remainder of the date. She mentioned she had to move, so I offered to help. I found myself increasingly attracted to this woman before me, but my brain and heart went into preservation mode as I tried to come to terms with the revelation, she is one of twelve siblings. That night was hot, I couldn’t sleep. My heart was racing. My body wouldn’t cool down, no matter what I did. My brain was fried and I couldn’t process anything! 

THE THIRD DATE

Louise writes:

By now, I knew I wanted to spend uninterrupted time getting to know Christian more. He intrigued me, and I was drawn to his sweet mannerisms, gentle soul, attentive listening and honest communication. And I wanted to know more. We had lunch at my place, then went out to watch a movie. Coming back to my place, it was easy to talk about anything. We spent 11 and a half hours together that day, our talking only paused for the movie! We found so much common ground; I was stuck by how little we differed on. The few things we differed in seemed to highlight that we have the same heart on many other things.

Christian writes:

Our third date lasted the length of The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition. Lots of talking, followed by a movie at an old theatre, and then more talking. I shared with Louise how I felt overwhelmed regarding her extraordinary family. So, she mapped out her family tree for me, which made me feel more at ease. I thought, “I could see myself marrying this woman.” Especially, when she later shared, she felt safe to be vulnerable and honest with me. 

THE FOURTH DATE

Louise writes:

After the third date, I was missing Christian already and I really wanted to see him more than once a week. This man had come into my life and was gently seeping through the walls of my heart. I could already see Christian had nothing to hide, and while not a musician, he was indeed all those things which I desired most in a man, his character, integrity and incidentally, even his stature. I had a gut feeling – he was the one for me. Not bearing the thought of waiting until the following weekend, I reached out to ask about having a midweek date. Christian seemed enthusiastic. 

On the fourth date, I went across town to his place by the beach. We went on a nice beach walk before sunset, though the wind made it a bit too cold and overcast, it didn’t feel as romantic as I had hoped. We went back to Christian’s place and talked some more. Later in the night, Christian’s phone dinged. Which I thought was a message, and made a passing comment about messaging with another lady from the speed dating night. He was mortified I would even suggest he was talking with another woman in that way while we were dating. In that moment I knew I would need to let him know I was ready to make our relationship official. Christian was such a gentleman; it was clear he would not want to rush me. 

I said I needed to ask him something, and suddenly felt extremely nervous and embarrassed. I began stuttering and stammering. Christian looks extremely concerned for me. As I tried to talk, I suddenly blushed, my face turning bright red. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes by this point. I shook and stammered as I blurted out, “Do you think…. Do you think….. do you think we… should be exclusive?” I couldn’t believe myself! What had I just said?! I had tried to say, “Should we be official?” But it came out all muddled up. As soon as the words left my lips, Christian shot back in the couch like he’d been hit. It seemed to me, that a bomb had gone off in his heart. He responded in a very measured tone, “Yes, I’d like that very much.” I was trying so hard not to laugh at myself, whilst still being a bright shade of red.

Christian writes:

Our fourth date began with a beach walk. As we walked, I brushed hands with Louise and joked that I wasn't quite ready yet to hold hands, though I really wanted to. After returning to my place, we sat down to have a talk and some snacks. Louise looked like she was in a bit of state. I leaned forward, concerned about what she could be wanting to tell me. She leaned forward, blurting out, “Would you like to be exclusive?” I was so startled I launched myself backwards in my seat! I was at loss for words. Regaining my composure, I replied, “Yes, I would like that very much.” And so, we became official.

THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPS

From there, our dating consisted of talking in person and long conversations by text (not phone calls). On January long weekend, there was a Live to Love Conference in the CBD. It was our first time worshipping together, and our first-time holding hands, much to Christian’s delight.

Valentine’s week Louise changed career from florist to admin support, and she moved… conveniently closer to Christian. Not to be outdone, the following week, Christian also changed careers to become a disability support worker. During this incredibly busy time of transition, we continued to date and see each other most days of the week.

April arrived, and Christian asked Louise for her ring-size, much to Louise’s delight. Christian then enlisted the help of a close friend and his wife to plan, prepare and propose. Christian had scouted a location and dropped off the provisions needed for the proposal at their house the night before, minus the engagement ring.

THE PROPOSAL

The day came, and Louise didn't hear from Christian until the evening. Christian was so incredibly nervous and didn't think to contact Louise earlier in the day. When we planned to meet up, Louise knew something was going on. Christian had to persuade Louise for a walk before dinner. Christian proposed at a park overlooking the beach. Louise said, “Yes!” Christian was relieved. We enjoyed a yummy picnic dinner as Louise watched the sunset, and Christian watched Louise. 

Now we are celebrating the joy of finding one another and planning for our future lives together.